Dib Farmington was overjoyed when he landed a plastic ring on an old Coke bottle at the county fair.  His precision and accuracy netted him the grand prize of one goldfish that he affectingly named Bonner.  Throughout the weekend Dib and Bonner were inseparable.   They shared baths together, stayed up late watching movies and went on long walks around the neighborhood.  But as soon as the weekend ended the honeymoon was over.  “I had to feed him several times a day and once a week I had to change his water because there was shit everywhere” said Farmington. He also added “the amount of attention he was requiring was reaching in excess of 45 minutes a month.  That’s like an episode of Mad Men!  It was just way too much time for me to dedicate to something other then myself.” 

With a whole three seasons of the acclaimed TV show to get through and the finale quickly approaching, Dib decided his time with Bonner was coming to an end.  “We had such a great time together that I didn’t want to just throw him in the toilet.  I knew that the stigma of being a flush fish would scar him for life so I took the humane approach.”  During the cover of darkness Farmington snuck onto the grounds of SeaWorld Orlando and left Bonner at the front gate with a note that read, I just can't do this anymore.  Find him a better home. “It tares me up to say goodbye but I feel much better knowing Bonner is in a better place and I am now one episode of Mad Men closer to the finale.”

A spokes person at SeaWorld Orlando did not care to comment on the health and well-being of the fish. But a Seagull who hangs out near the food court area confirmed that Bonner was indeed fed to a prized Harbor Seal named Chewbacca.